note to self

I want to have a bit of a record of my experiences of marathon training so that when I look back in 20 years time and think, 'how on earth did I ever run that far and that often? It must have been because I was so young and fit', I will know that actually it did not - it does not - come easily. Pretty much every time I run I face a mental battle, from the time I drag myself out of bed to when I get home and stretch out my aching muscles.

Maybe I am young and fit, but I am pretty sure that your mental attitude has a whole lot to do with how much you can endure and persevere. Sometimes I think this makes more of a difference than your physical ability - especially at the stage of life I'm at now. I don't have any ongoing health problems at all, I'm not overweight, I have a pretty good diet, and unless I have pushed myself incredibly hard on a run, it takes me less than five minutes to get back to my resting heartrate. Today was not a fun run. It was just so windy. Before I got up I could hear the wind howling around the rooftops, which is always a sure sign that when you're out running, unless you're running with the direction of the wind, it will feel like an uphill struggle, even when you're not going up a hill (which is not very often in Bristol).

After 5 minutes I wanted to stop and go home. I felt like this for the whole of the 45 minutes I ran for. But I didn't. I just kept going. And I have to tell myself each time that I run and feel like this, that when I get home I will feel absolutely fine and will be glad that I did it.