Wednesday, October 07, 2009


Autumn is well and truly here. Hello Autumn. The time has come to layer up when I leave the house in the morning, and feel the chill of the Autumn air on my hands and face, which at the moment is just cool enough to give that rosy glow without biting.

This afternoon as I left the house to go to my childminding job, I donned my running leggings and dug out my winter running top - suitable for super cold weather conditions - knowing that I was going to get well and truly soaked by the rain pounding down. This part of Autumn I do not love. So I took a deep breath, jammed in my ear buds and turned on my ipod to help me through the journey to work. I have broken the habit of listening to music while I cycle - in part due to the concern of my boyfriend that this is not very safe - and also due to me finding a little enjoyment at hearing everything that's going on around me again instead of wanting to block it out.

But today, I needed the music to block out the rain and the noise and make me feel a little less exposed to the weather.

I found as I cycled that my thoughts formed clearly. A very refreshing feeling after this morning at school, finding myself repeatedly stumbling over names and words - something that happens around this time in the term when the constant requirement to be following five trains of thought simultaneously becomes a little beyond me. As the thoughts formed of the words I wanted to write down, to type out on this blog came to mind, I found myself wondering once again how it is always at times when there is no way to physically record my thoughts that they come in the greatest clarity. I wondered why this is often the case.

The realisation came to me that this is so because when I am going through the in-between in my journeys to and from work, this is when I have head space to think about what's going on in my life and my head, as opposed to responding to the constant needs of the children around me. As I cycled and the old familiar scenery changed with each road passed, my thoughts travelled right along with me. Thoughts of how things in my life are gradually and steadily changing; Of how I will not be cycling along these same familiar routes for much longer; Of how I am enjoying the process of change. Of how change is oh so good.

I am in the process of applying for teacher training. As I complete each stage of the application, the little hexagons representing stages, adjacent to oneanother change. There is a small satisfaction in seeing this change occur, seeing the single lined hexagons become doubled as each stage is completed, reminding me of the individual cells of a bee hive, separated yet becoming more complete as all that is needed to be added is put in place, just so.

Later on, the journey home from school greets us with more rain. I comment on how we need to walk in formation like penguins, we three huddled together under the single umbrella to ensure maximum protection from the elements. That with penguins as they travel throughout the harshest phase of Winter, they have to stay in formation, yet with incredible skill, change their position in the formation to protect oneanother. Change is a necessary and sustaining thing.

No comments: