Wednesday, November 18, 2009
a little bit more of this
I was in the queue at a supermarket today, standing in a daze, very aware of the thick foggy feeling in my head which has taken up residence for a while due to my cold. As I stood there in my daze, two teenage girls ran past me, fresh with the vigour that the end of the school day brings. These girls had one thing one their mind and they shared it with me and the other bystanders in the supermarket. 'Magazines!' They had popped into the supermarket on their way home from school to get their latest fix of whatever magazine they liked to read.
The thought crossed my mind, 'I remember a time when life was so simple that all I needed was a magazine to fill my time...' I never thought I would become someone who felt like there was not enough 'time'. I never wanted to use that as a reason for not getting things done, or not doing the things I love, but somewhere, somehow, I have become that person.
While I find this very difficult, it also means that I delight all the more in those moments where I am deeply content and at rest. Last Sunday had an afternoon that was made up of those moments. The best moment was standing on a hill at Ashton Court, breathing in the fresh wintery air, and watching the skies. Something I love to do more and more. I never cease to be amazed by their beauty, put there by God and we get to delight in the beauty.
In light of this, somewhere, somehow, I want to get some time back. Not that it's something that can be retrieved, but that I want to learn how to use my time more wisely. I think it's going to take a lifetime to learn.